I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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