I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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