if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My pussy is not your playground.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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