You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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