Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize