dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize