But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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