Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
