**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
