So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize