WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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