yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
