she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We got so high we made milksteak
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
