I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
