Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
