I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
