So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
