dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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