Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
