And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
