your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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