if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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