i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
