It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
