Do you still have your period?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
A bitchslap is in order.
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