You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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