I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
