theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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