I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize