I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
