She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize