i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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