Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
