I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I said "one day" and that day is not today
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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