The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
