Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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