it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Operation Purity has been aborted
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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