physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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