That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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