Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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