I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
