I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
