He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i love accidental penises.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
