Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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