Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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