Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
