Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I puked a lego.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
