The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
