Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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