My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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