I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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