I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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