..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
