using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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