love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
