somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize