the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
