3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
