Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize