I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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