ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
