You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
