help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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