he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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